Remembering One Reason I Became a Christian

It was the summer of 1986 and I was sitting on my bed. I was contemplating my life. I remember almost everything about that day, from the weather—it was unseasonably pleasant and sunny—the time of day, the sights and the smells, and my roommate had just left to make it to some classes he was finishing up. I had just graduated and was contemplating my next moves.

I remember this time because it was so pivotal in my life. It served as a marker for when my thinking became more sober. It was at that moment when I was contemplating the utter meaninglessness of life that I had an epiphany.

It was around this time that Flo Hyman died. She was a phenomenal U.S. Volleyball champion and I was a big fan of hers. During a game in January 24, 1986 she suddenly collapsed and died on the spot during a volleyball game in Japan. I had already spent much of the previous year discussing the death of exercise maverick, Jim Fixx with my buddy and roomate—even laughing about the irony. And then this happened. It hit me in a strange way that year.

It intensified during that summer as I was seeking employment in my field. I suddenly realized the absurdity of life. Here I am working hard to get through school. And now I am out. I will now work hard to get a good-paying job, a home, and a car. Then I will have to pay taxes, and then die. What is the point of it all?

That is when I wondered about God. What if he is real? What if all that I heard about Jesus is true? Then what? If not, then what?

I was in despair at the prospects. Either way meant my death. The death of my dreams, greatest hopes, and what I thought were my possibilities. I knew I could never see life the same way again, whether there was a God or if there was no God. I discovered that life was meaningless without settling the matter. There is no direction, point, or conclusion. I am, and then I am not. Everything I ever done will be forgotten. Who pays attention and who knows my inner thoughts? Who really understands me? No one, unless there is a God.

If there is a God, I can't live like I used to anymore. I have to deal with the knowledge that not only life has an incredible purpose, but I am accountable to live for that purpose. I knew I must find out the truth. I could not sleep anymore.

Interesting History Lesson

I remember these Schoolhouse Rock musical cartoons. This one is does a decent job at explaining a little history about how our country came to be.

Shaq Attack

There's this new reality show on TV called Shaq's Big Challenge. I thought it would be pretty boring, but it really caught my attention. And I have to say that I really like it. It depicts six teenagers with serious weight problems. Shaquille O'Neal is helping them overcome their weight problems and taking it upon himself to deal with the national issue of childhood obesity throughout the series. It is quite an ambitious plan—aware that these are taped shows and Shaq has been doing this through the basketball season, which is now over.

What is so fascinating about this show is that it reveals some of the underlining issues that each of these kids have; like poor eating and exercise habits, bad self-perceptions, and a lack of vision by their parents. They now have to struggle to reverse these impediments. And what is also interesting is that almost all the kids (and parents) but one didn't take their need for change very seriously. Most played around while some parents coddled them. (I purposely don't mention the problem of public schools who do not make physical education mandatory, because that can't be controlled as much as one's self.)

I wonder if we take our spiritual lives in the same manner as these kids take their own health. We have grown too spiritually flabby in our country. We desire theology that doesn't get in the way of a good time and good friends. We often prefer the easy way to spiritual growth. It may be shallow, but everyone gets along. And myself included. I don't want to suffer. Suffering, denying myself, and doing hard work is no fun most of the time, even if the benefit is maturity, courage, and deeper understanding. Yes, I want to grow. But I want a pill, encouragement, a good book, or a spiritual experience. I don't want the cross.

But that may be what is required.