Friday, February 02, 2007

The Long Road Ahead

After the deaths of my mother, mother-in-law, and uncle, I realize the start of this year has set a course beyond what I was preparing for. This will be a year of great changes and adjustments. We've been so busy lately with some estate issues that we really haven't grieved our losses totally. It is a struggle to just keep the everyday things intact.

I know one thing for sure. I will never be the same, and God is closer to me than I deserve. Yes, it hurts, but my hope is in the Lord.

It's ironic. I had quite different plans for this year. Up until New Year's Eve I had in mind what I would be doing and studying. I had even prepared a series of lessons for Sunday morning Bible class on the interaction of Jesus with our everyday struggles in life. Little did I know, God was preparing me for my own struggle.

Now, I have been leaning on Jesus in a way I haven't done before. I've had times of great struggle, but these struggles are different for so many reasons. Yet, though I am sad, I am not in total despair. Though I am weak, I am not crushed. Though I ache constantly, I have a real hope.

I am not saying that I am doing so well because of my godly perspective. I have plenty of proof that I struggle the same as anybody else. But during these times, God is so real. He is more real now than when times are good. This is where the rubber meets the road, isn't it?

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